SoDMSHHCfLaJaaB'OC! (the long title won't fit)
by Cade1
Summary: Don't know precicley, (I can't spell) if I tried to summarize it I'd most likely give away the whole plot. (Such as it is)


^_^  
  
'Kay, this is not really a self insertion, it's more like a fusion of the real world and two (or more) Anime.  
This one is supposed to be humorous, don't know how I'll do it though... What kind of style should I write in? Narration, one person view, multi-person view, alternate between three people, script?  
Ah, well I'll write the first one in. - drumroll please - {dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada DA!} ::opens envelope:: Author Perspective Narration! {clapclapclapclapclapclap!} Next time, vote for it! Send me E-mails at "shansi@crosslink.net" with what style you want! Please format it like this:  
  
[begin e-mail]  
  
[whatever you want to say]  
  
Choice = [insert style here]  
  
The you can put whatever you want at the end! {Danaaaaa!}  
  
[end e-mail]  
  
You don't have to...  
  
::announcer voice:: But if you dooo, you could win a T-Shirt! A skateboard! Or any other of our faaaabulous prizes!  
::talks very fast:: Please allow 10-20 years for delivery, void where gambling and Tape-Monkeys are illegal, must place thirty-seven (37) stamps on envelope without the use of glue, tape, staples, nails, or atomic weapons.  
  
::normal voice:: Oh! One more thing, this is mainly a Sailor Moon fic, but it has elements of Ranma 1/2. I don't think I'll bring any Ranma characters, but I might. After all, I'm the Author! Bwahahahahahahaha!  
  
Sailor Moon and Ranma 1/2 are the properties of Takeuchi Naoko-sama and Takahashi Rumiko-sama respectively. But I'm rambling, on with the show!  
  
[Text]  
"Speech"  
{sound effect}  
::action::  
(Author's Voice)  
o/ singing /o  
  
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| Spring of drowned Mini-Skirted-High-Heeled-Champions-of-Love-and-Justice-with-a-Bag-'o-Chickens! (I'm still working on the title...) |  
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-_^  
  
  
"Holy foot eating pedophile Batman!" A small person around 13 or 14 years of age shouted suddenly, pointing at a tree.  
  
(NOPE! Let's try that again!)  
  
{beeep!)  
  
  
The screen flashes and the scene is back to it's original frame. On closer inspection, the young, handsome, charismatic, charmi-(THWACK!} (Stop that!} Oh! Sorry, got a little carried away...  
  
{Agherm} On closer inspection, the young boy is standing in a pass between some mountains over looking a valley blanketed in mist. "Uhh, holy... um," the adolescent boy started with much less enthusiasm "tooth, eating... Badger of Death?" he finished lamely.  
(No! The line is... ::fumbles around in pockets:: Ah! Here we go.) He says as He begins to read from a - (Hey! you're not supposed to narrate me! ... That's better.)  
(Now, [Switchblade, Cheese, Bleach, Weapons grade Plutoniu -- ] Ooups! Wrong list, hehehe....Right, [Ah, were finally here, we made it to,] ::dramatic pause:: [Jusenkyo!]) The Author starts to laugh maniacaly as thunder rolls in the background, and the music goes: {Dan, dan, daaa!}  
  
(Now do it right this time!) "Yessir!" The blonde haired boy and the narrator say simultaneously, saluting. Boy. It sure is tough bein' the narrator...  
  
{beeep!}  
  
"Ah, were finally here," A certain Really Incredible Guy said to his traveling companions, a red haired kid a little taller than him, and one who´s hight was about in the middle "we made it to..."::dramatic pause:: "Jusenkyo!" {Dan, dan daaa!}  
(Much better!)  
  
{chiiiiiirp... chiiiiiiiiirp...} "So?" the taller one asked Him, "Where's that?" {doki, doki} The One, -- who, until we find his actual name, we'll call... Cats -- blinked a couple of times in response. "I don't know." Cats said dumbly. "Waitasec," said The Middle One, -- Who we'll call Operator -- "Why are we here anyway?"  
  
"Maybe we have are the last remnants" Started the Tall One -- Captain -- "of a spacefaring race of humans, and we have to pilot Zig fighters and kill aliens!" Noticing his companions stares he leapt to his own defense {crunch!} "Ooww... Ite, ummm... It could happen..."   
(ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US) "Wah... Who's there?" Cats said, cautiously turning to look behind him. (Ummm. No one.) {beeep} "Not likely." Cats remarked as he turned to face the valley again, and wondering how he had gotten turned around in the first place. "But I think we should find out!"  
  
"Now, I suggest we all do cartwheels down the hill to improve our balance and threshold of dizziness." Cats said seriously...Seriously kidding that is! What a great joke, hahahahahaaaa... "I'm joking, we'll walk."  
::star wars imperial march starts playing in the background:: Dan, dan, dan, dan dana, dan danaa! {sigh} I love that song...But anyways, let's get on with it.  
  
"Hut! Hut! Hut!" Captain yelled to the beat as they marched downhill. "Hey, this tune is great! Can we put on Tank? Pretty please, Author-sama?" Cats asked, his eyes quadrupling in size in a matter of seconds (Weelll...Alright, since you asked so nicely, we'll put it on after the chapter ends.)  
  
"Aaaw..." Cats pouted cutely.  
  
{Arghm} (While the narrator was listening to music, the gang had already reached the springs.)  
  
"Woah, cool." Operator remarked as the springs came into view. "In-deed." Cats agreed, also awestruck. "Double-Duparoni." Captain concurred.  
They turned and looked at him funny for a moment, "'Double-Duparoni'?" Cats echoed. "Nevermind. Don't want to know." He concluded after a moments thought and turned to look back at the springs.  
  
(Hmmm... now, How to get them to fall in the spring... It has to look like a accident... That rules out just picking them up and dumping them in.) The Author thought. (Hey if I'm thinking, just how the Hell can you narrate it?) I'm the narrator, he said proudly striking a pose, It's my job to know what everyone is saying, thinking, doing, and Fishing. With those wriggly little worms that go "EEAARGHH!" when you stick 'em on the hooks. (Have you noticed that you're narrating yourself as well?) ... He thought for a moment...No.  
  
(Oh well. Back to the matter at hand. I could scare them...No. I could create a sudden gust of wind and blow them in...No. I could...Yes, that's it! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaa...)  
  
All of a sudden, the temperature increased greatly in the small valley. "My, it's hot in here..." Cats said somewhat seductively as he started to remove his clothes, and strip music filled the air. The other two looked at each other, shrugged, and joined the strip tease. The music went on until they had stripped to their underwear at which point it cut off abruptly. As they had nothing better to do, they'd JUST decided to go for a short swim, when the Jusenkyo guide ran out of the hut "Please sirs! Don't go near the springs!" The Guide -- who we'll call...Laringytis, Larry for short -- shouted inaffectually in chinese.  
  
The trio cast a worried glance in his direction before running towards, and jumping into, the nearest spring.  
  
Unfourtunatly for this Author, it was the wrong one. (NOOO! If they'd just fallen in the _right_ spring! Now I'll have to find another three people to turn into Malted Milk Birds!! ...They lay malted milk eggs, you know.)  
  
Back with our boys, err, girls, nearly naked...Soaking wet... {THUMP} (Sorry the narrator passed out, don't know what got intooooo...) {THUMP} "A few moments later, the Author also passed out." "Remarked Larry in chinese." "Larry waved a smelling salt under the nose of the narrator." "Wake up!" Uhhh...Man, what hit me? (Wait a second!) The Author said as he revived himself (I'm going to have to erase some of this!)  
  
{beeep}  
  
"AAAAAAAhhhhh!! What happened!?" Cats exclaimed as he, err, she got used to staying afloat in a different body "I'm a GIRL... With no clothes on!" she continued, swimming back to shore, "What's the world coming to?" "Uuhhh..." Captain said from where she lay on the bank, she had dragged herself over there while Cats was ranting in the spring. "Damn," Operator remarked from where she lay, "A girl...Well, could be worse...Coulda turned into some kind of animal!"  
  
^_-  
  
Now inside the guide's hut, and fully clothed, we can take a look at them without passing out. The three girls looked as follows, and I quote: There was one of about average hight wearing her long blonde hair in what looks like two ponytails extending a pair of buns on top of her head. She was wearing Captain's clothes. Next, a teenager with long blackish hair. She was wearing Cats's clothes. And another with short bluish black hair wearing Operator's clothes.  
  
"Sirs, you fall in Spring of drowned Mini-Skirted-High-Heeled-Champions-of-Love-and-Justice-with-a-Bag-'o-Chickens!" Larry explained quickly, "I was wondering where this came from..." Captain commented, holding up at paper bag with clucking noises emanating from inside.  
"Is very tragic story of three magical girls that drown here 10,000 year ago. I no know where the Bag'o Chickens come from..."  
  
"Just a second," Cats began as if he remembered something, "I remember something!" See? I was right. "There was this Anime, and you were in it, and you were in it, and I was in it! It was called "Sailor Futon!" Cats announced proudly, standing up as everyone else fell of they're chairs. "I think you meant "Sailor _Moon_..." Operator said, climbing back into his chair.  
  
"Oh yeah...That DOES make more sense..." Cats said ponderously. (Get on with it!) Right! "Ah yes, I must tell sirs something, you turn back to man with hot water, but you turn to girl with cold water." "Yeah," Cats said, waving one hand dismissively "we already knew that. I mean, we DO watch Ranma 1/2 after all." {blink, blink} Goes Larry. {blink, blink}  
  
"Ookay, you very strange ones. I'll tell you what, I'll let you stay at my house tonight, 'cause I'm just such a nice guy." Everyone looked at Larry with shocked expressions on their faces, "What? Oh! I mean, I tell you. You...Stay, Umm, damn. Guess you know my secret, I don't actually have an accent, it just makes other people feel at ease." "Riiight... Can we just get some hot water and go to bed? Oh, and don't forget. Fried chicken tomorrow morning!  
  
-_-  
  
The next morning they rose bright and early, the sun was shining, the birds chirping, they had fried chicken, nothing could get them down! They stepped outside, ready to face a new day! ...And it rained.  
  
"Damn." Operator remarked pleasantly. "Oh, well. Might as well just go with it for now, were probably not going to be able to stay male for very long." Cats reasoned, but obviously still feeling grumpy about it.  
  
(Yep, get to it! Chop chop!)  
  
- -  
^  
  
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|End Chapter One of: Spring of drowned Mini-Skirted-High-Heeled-Champions-of-Love-and-Justice-with-a-Bag-'o-Chickens!|  
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Please don't kill me! This is probably one of the stupidest things I've ever written--which is saying something--and I am deeply sorry. As I said before, please tell me by E-mail to "shansi@crosslink.net" I need C&C! R&R! R&D! LSD! Uhh, scratch that last one.  
Ja ne! 


End file.
